Some cancer patients become obsessed with the WHYs: Why do I have cancer? Why now? Why me? Why is it in my lung instead of somewhere easier to treat?
If I spent time pondering all the WHYs, I would have less time for LIVING with cancer.
One good thing cancer has done for me is clarifying what’s important. “Important” is spending quality time with family and friends, being kind to and doing something useful for others, appreciating the natural world, learning to be a better person, and taking care of myself as best I can. I am curious by nature, and love to learn the whys of the universe. Yet, in the case of my cancer, the answers would have no beneficial impact on my treatment or what I do with the time I have left. It’s like being obsessed with a good whodunit novel–nice to know the ending, but who shot JR makes no difference in real life.
I probably will never know exactly when, how or why I developed the type of lung cancer I have, or why it behaves the way it does. And I’m OK with that.